I don't think I was a very nice child
It's getting better all the time. (Can't get no worse.)
Sunday 18 July 2010
Thursday 15 July 2010
Wednesday 7 July 2010
nirobichchhino
I shan't say it's a more intense feeling, or conversation because the point is that it's not
but the endless days and endless chances of sitting talking discussing doing nothing gossiping analysing teasing consuming cups and cups of milk sugar liquor tea of sausages and sandwiches and almond and brownie tea-shakes and the twenty buck scarves on street sides and striped and spotted and scribbled-on ties and the berets in tiny shops and the silver pendants and the knock-off shoes and the random movie watching and the constant movie trashing and talking of comics and comical people and coming back home to tea and squabbling with the folks and languishing glances and knowing smiles and the dark shadows on the stone steps where we sat talking aimlessly and needlessly and the conversations carried down the stairs and through the room and across the streets over coffe and cigarettes and the headaches and the heartaches of other people and the tight smiles and easy informalities and my old hatreds and loves and mild dislikes
and the bangla on every tongue and the shared knowledge of bangalitto, of shared truths and shared pasts
is all, all going away, and the sentimentality of it all is trite, is ridiculous, but two weeks is too little time in which to say goodbye to twenty years, no matter for how short a time.
but the endless days and endless chances of sitting talking discussing doing nothing gossiping analysing teasing consuming cups and cups of milk sugar liquor tea of sausages and sandwiches and almond and brownie tea-shakes and the twenty buck scarves on street sides and striped and spotted and scribbled-on ties and the berets in tiny shops and the silver pendants and the knock-off shoes and the random movie watching and the constant movie trashing and talking of comics and comical people and coming back home to tea and squabbling with the folks and languishing glances and knowing smiles and the dark shadows on the stone steps where we sat talking aimlessly and needlessly and the conversations carried down the stairs and through the room and across the streets over coffe and cigarettes and the headaches and the heartaches of other people and the tight smiles and easy informalities and my old hatreds and loves and mild dislikes
and the bangla on every tongue and the shared knowledge of bangalitto, of shared truths and shared pasts
is all, all going away, and the sentimentality of it all is trite, is ridiculous, but two weeks is too little time in which to say goodbye to twenty years, no matter for how short a time.
Tuesday 6 July 2010
Thursday 1 July 2010
blogsprouting
there is a new blog. gods know who will read it. ah well.
it is here.
blame cheshire cat, gods know i do. (i lie, i lie, i love you, you know it.)
it is here.
blame cheshire cat, gods know i do. (i lie, i lie, i love you, you know it.)
Wednesday 30 June 2010
you can never go back home
or to school, as the case might be. It will seem familiar and taunt you with missing teachers, absent mentors, red-tape complications, and unfamiliar, screaming juniors. It will suck and you will decide to never return, and then realise you made that promise the last time you visited.
However, since you will, like as not, end up stuffing your face with pan-fried momos, life is not all bad.
Especially if friends treat you to KFC ice-cream, and you realise a book you want is available for an extremely reasonable sum.
However, since you will, like as not, end up stuffing your face with pan-fried momos, life is not all bad.
Especially if friends treat you to KFC ice-cream, and you realise a book you want is available for an extremely reasonable sum.
Sunday 27 June 2010
Thursday 24 June 2010
jude
It is unfair to be made to feel out-of-place/superfluous/unwanted in a place you love, which you've proven yourself integrally a part of, which it would hurt you to leave.
But it is, perhaps, a reminder of the fact that it hasn't been all good, even when you're all brimming with nostalgia and bedecked with rose-tinted glasses/binoculars/telescopes/magnifying-glasses/what-have-you.
Yes, you still love the people you loved one/two/three/five years ago; it still feels amazing to be remembered.
Thirty-wo 'I'm' texts need not be from teeth.
Sophi. mashimas attempting to flirt is creepy as hell.
Bawal chai, bawal dao.
Aristotle was a blind man/scientist who invented the periodic table/Greek all-rounder.
But it is, perhaps, a reminder of the fact that it hasn't been all good, even when you're all brimming with nostalgia and bedecked with rose-tinted glasses/binoculars/telescopes/magnifying-glasses/what-have-you.
Yes, you still love the people you loved one/two/three/five years ago; it still feels amazing to be remembered.
Thirty-wo 'I'm' texts need not be from teeth.
Sophi. mashimas attempting to flirt is creepy as hell.
Bawal chai, bawal dao.
Aristotle was a blind man/scientist who invented the periodic table/Greek all-rounder.
Wednesday 16 June 2010
Memento Mori
Belly and breasts
And thighs spread around
Cunt, want-wet and clamped
Around your flesh in my flesh
Red from your teeth in my flesh
Clamped down and suckling:
This is how we come together
In hollow darkness, switched off,
And the gaps of clothes rearranged.
And thighs spread around
Cunt, want-wet and clamped
Around your flesh in my flesh
Red from your teeth in my flesh
Clamped down and suckling:
This is how we come together
In hollow darkness, switched off,
And the gaps of clothes rearranged.
I have your marks still,
Crescent moons of blood pale
Against my surging flesh
As your flesh pale against mine
Dark as the bruises purpling
Beneath your hands on my flesh:
This is how I remember you
In blood beneath and on my skin
In enfleshed traceries of ownership.
Crescent moons of blood pale
Against my surging flesh
As your flesh pale against mine
Dark as the bruises purpling
Beneath your hands on my flesh:
This is how I remember you
In blood beneath and on my skin
In enfleshed traceries of ownership.
498-A
My torso is a drum
Reverberating under your closed fist and open hand
My back the mat
You wipe your feet on, careless, forceful.
And my breast the pillow
On which you rest your head and try your teeth.
You have taken and turned me
From human
Into furniture/instrument/tool.
You have dissected me,
Separated me into my component parts.
Tossed away every superficial thing,
Save(d) only the bare essentials.
The hands that bring you food.
The mouth that brings you love.
The throat on which you test the tenacity of your grip.
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