Men, Boys and not-quite Tomboys

So I was talking to Cyber Monkey and The Soliloquist, and we were discussing the fact that I refuse to write younger gen. fic in the HP fandom. I like some of them though not usually Harry, but they're kids, y'know? We've seen them as eleven-year olds. 'Course, I write about older gen. as kids too to begin with, but they're grown-up, I can see them, some more than others, as sexual beings. But, honestly, for me, Ron/Hermione, or Harry/Ginny = EWWW!

Not that it's not very well written by some, I'm sure, I just... I can't read it. It's like hobbitsex, for me. Despite the groan-inducing "romance" that J.K.R worked into Deathly Hallows, for me the kids are somehow asexual. Which is rather ridiculous. But, that's how I feel.

Same about the hobbits. I know they must have sex, I mean, Sam has lots of kids, but I definitely do not want to read about it. Almost the same thing with Legolas. Or, rather, Orlando Bloom, 'cause all the LotR characters are asexual in the novels, really. But Aragorn or Boromir or even the-slightly-less-chest-beating Faramir feel like men while Legolas feels like a boy-band pin-up.

Though I s'pose fate's been unkind to Orlando Bloom, a bit. He keeps getting put in films with people like Viggo Mortensen and Johnny Depp; which means he looks effeminate in the first instance and asexual in the second. Honestly. CM said she was shocked when Kightley picked Bloom over Depp. I was shocked when Bloom picked Knightley over Depp.

Of course, this leads us nicely to that other apparently-sexy-but-really-pre-pubertally-cute 'celebrity'--Keira Knightley. Gah! Why the woman keeps getting cast in roles clearly far-too-big for her boots I dunno. I mean, Guinevere? (Ruined a perfectly good film with Clive Owen and Ioan Griffud and action and subtext) Elizabeth Bennet? (I will not say anything, because that would actually require that I think about the film.)

Just, dear Hollywood Blockbuster directors, can Keira Knightley go away and come back when she's grown up? And in the mean time, please find somebody, anybody, else to cast for tomboy-warrior-but-actually-cute-little-princess roles? Please? Pretty please? Thank you.

P.S. Or y'know, let the next couple of boy's-own films be female-less. Doesn't really hurt. LotR did pretty well. So did Star Wars. And Jurassic Park. And Gladiator. And *gasp, shudder, groan* Troy and even Alexander. Oh, wait, thoe had lots of cleavage. Sorry. But, well, not to be rude, but Miss Knightley really truly doesn't. :P